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The other legislation on the table, the USA Freedom Act, doesn't go nearly far enough in keeping the personal information of innocent people out of government hands. For instance, remember how last month you drunk-dialed your ex 4 times in the middle of the night? Yeah, the NSA knows about that. They know she didn't call you back. Remember how the next day you called your therapist five times?

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Don't think your wild phase in college should be fair game for NSA databases? Guess what? Happy birthday! Ah, Son. Tell Congress it's time for Section of the Patriot Act to go away.

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So why all the spying, NSA? I mean, the NSA should write a book about anxiety since they contribute so much to our collective stress level by spying on our private communications. You know the websites we mean. And last week, if you haven't heard yet, a federal appeals court ruled it illegal! Heard enough? Let's just hope they don't see another credit card charge for the White Horse Tavern on your way home. Time for you and the NSA to settle in to a slow day at the office, and some web searches about your ex.

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Why on earth does the NSA get to know all your embarrassing secrets? The NSA no doubt agrees.

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It's enough to make you want to go totally off-grid, man. This week is dragging on and you can't stop thinking about how your ex is now with your ex best friend.

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Even naked mole rats might agree. If only the NSA also offered relationship counseling services. Sure, why not! You give Rabbi Val a call. Ugh, another rough night. Financial transactions! The NSA will understand that, right?

Reasons why section needs to go away | american civil liberties union

You stop to do a web search for "who vs. And that you got an egg and cheese sandwich at the deli the next morning. But you're not a bad person! The NSA can use some fancy data correlation techniques to figure out that after you bought a whole lot soem drinks at the bar, you went and got a tank of gas. That guy you met at the bar who you called so he'd have your ?

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So, for example, when you stop at the drug store after your "off-site meeting" to fill your therapist's prescription for sleeping pills? The NSA could also request a list of anyone else who worships at your synagogue. I mean Congress is so busy. A federal judge did.

Top secret teens: the high schoolers recruited by the national security agency

That would be a best seller! In fact, the NSA could request a list of people who belong to any organization, like, say, an environmental group.

They know you talked for 20 minutes. Your grandfather - not exactly a fan of big government - is pretty upset about it too.

Inside the nsa: ‘working on the dark side of the moon’ - informs

That date was a total disaster. You guessed it: logged by the NSA. Ever made a bad decision and wished you could reverse it? Just in doon

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Did we mention how unsavory they are? Sure hope none of those 10, people have ever done something unsavory.

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You don't want to attract unwanted attention. Let it go The bill was hundreds of s long after all and super complicated. You can't remember the last time you picked up a pen oson your handwriting is atrocious. Except you told your boss you have an off-site meeting.

How the nsa almost killed the internet

How do they even justify this massive intrusion into your life? Your secrets are none of their business! Too bad we don't even know the criteria for ending up on the watchlist. Guess who else?

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